Her Story...

She came out of the bedroom wearing his shirt. She was still reeling from the intense passion of the night, the day seemed too bright for her. He was sitting on the couch and reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked distant and detached, that look in his eyes pained her, and each time she saw the look she almost hated herself for loving someone so much who, it seemed, didn’t care enough for her.
 He looked up at her, “Oh! You are up? Good Morning! I made coffee for you. Come join me.” She cringed. Why did he have to be so good to her when he meant nothing of what he did? From day 1 of their relationship she has been asking herself this question time and again, but she hasn’t found the answer yet.


They had met at a bar about 2 years ago. He was sitting and drinking alone, she was drinking with her friends. The moment they looked at each other something sparked, both of them felt it, but neither knew what the feeling exactly was. So they started talking and meeting, and soon enough making out, and ultimately they ended sleeping with each other at her apartment almost every weekend. She liked spending the Sunday mornings with him, lazying around, reading the newspaper, having late breakfast, and surfing the net, in short, doing nothing at all. She didn’t start questioning all of this until she was pretty sure that they had graduated from random dating to a relationship. But they had no future together, he had said, that’s where all the trouble began, she didn’t know anymore where they were heading.

Time and again she would say “love you”, and give kisses on the phone, his replies to them seemed so fake and distant. And each time she asked him why he was being fake, he would make some stupid excuse and turn the argument towards her. Nowadays, things puzzled her. He would act contradictory all the time. Sometimes he would express his love for her, but the moment he felt that too much was being revealed he would immediately change his expression and act as if nothing unusual or important was being said. What puzzled her the most was that the expressions of his love for her seemed real and the denials seemed fake. So, most of the times she didn’t know which one to believe, though deep down within she knew that he did have a soft corner for her.

All of these thoughts were passing through her mind while her lips still burned from the passion of last night. Sitting from across him she was trying to read his mind. He seemed to be reading the paper but he was thinking of something else. What was he thinking about? Or was she just reading too much into it? She wished he would just come up and kiss her on the forehead, a good morning kiss maybe. But he continued sitting and reading the paper in the same professional manner. She was looking at him curiously when suddenly out if the blue he announced, “It’s getting late. I have to leave. I have a lot of work tomorrow so I need to get back and take some rest.” She looked around her frantically searching for that one thing that made him decide to leave. She wanted to spend the day with him. What ticked him off so suddenly? Did she do something wrong? Did she give him a wrong signal? She didn’t know. She was trying to find the answer in his eyes. But to no avail. So she blurted out, “Why is it that each time you come you have to leave so suddenly and so fast?”

They had an argument that day, a bad one, an ugly one. Neither was ready to listen to the other. Each thought their problem was more important. The real problem was that she was not able to express herself properly because the feeling was just too real and intense. She was the one to stop, she had nothing to say, rather, she didn’t know how to say it without diluting the feeling. So, like most other times, she gave up. He looked at her guiltily and said, “Why do you have to turn all the arguments towards yourself? Why do you always think that I lie to you? When I said I have work I meant it and I really have to leave today.” But why is it that he never said that when he arrived at her place yesterday? Was it necessary to break the news so suddenly? He said he didn’t want to upset her. He wanted to spend time with her without her thinking too much, because then she would become preoccupied and he just wanted her to be herself, because that’s what he liked the most about her. He said she had this unique way of being spontaneous, that’s where all her energies sprang from, and he liked her just that way, he never wanted her to change. She looked at him and thought, “Oh! My God! He is saying the truth.” She went near him and kissed him lightly on the lips. They had made up, she heard him sigh out of relief. Somehow she didn’t feel like letting go of him, but as all other times he had to leave. So she hugged him tightly, brushed her lips against his and bid him good bye, “Call me when you reach home. “