Of Life, Marriage & Guys...

Ruchi’s question on facebook about what can make a marriage work started me thinking. This is not the first time I have thought about it, and whenever I think that I will get married myself one day it gives me cold feet. The reason for the cold feet is precisely the fear that the marriage might not work. My failed relationships of the past have taught me a lot of things, to think the way I do, to be able to take responsibility for my actions, but they have also made me increasingly pessimistic… will I ever find true love (marriage of mind and body)?Recently one of my friends dated a guy for a few days. They were great together, I mean they had great chemistry. But there was a fuck up as is mandatory for most good things. He is younger to her, naturally, in a country like India it is difficult to visualize a future under such circumstances.

 Strangely enough, I thought they came closest to what can be described as a perfect marriage even though they had dated only for very few days and was not even close enough to a “relationship”. They sparked the moment they met and they could go on talking endlessly. In most of the relationships I’ve had I was the one who would have to keep on talking to continue the conversations but with them it was different. He would talk a lot, about movies, books, general knowledge shit and other stuffs. Would it suffice to say that I’ve never met someone so intellectually stimulating. He always had a reply to everything that anyone had to say even if some of them were negative or surprised no-answer answers. Let me say that whatever they had gave me a passing glimpse of what a perfect or more correctly near-perfect relationship/marriage should look like.But it had to end. He got cold feet about the future together, he thought if they got attached to each other it would become difficult to move away later so it was best if he broke it off sooner. They had the possibility of a near-perfect relationship if they went ahead, doesn’t mean that he was the perfect or near-perfect guy.


 He committed the folly of taking the decision on his own without informing my friend and leaving her and me wondering what went wrong, thinking that if he left her like a jerk she would think that he is a jerk and that would make things easier for her. Far from it… but he did what he thought best even though it was very immature and it made things all the more difficult. But when they were together they were good and the funniest thing is that this guy gave her butterflies in the stomach (she and I would like to believe that people of our age are too old for that)!!! And she was actually willing to make changes in order to accommodate each other, though I do not know what he had in his mind (she knew it would have been almost impossible but she was willing to try and I was willing to support the decision). He wasn’t even ready to try.I believe that we are much closer to finding a near-perfect relationship because we are atleast willing to give things and people a chance whereas uptight people like him will always be too afraid to take the step. I don’t believe in marrying just for the sake of it. I don’t know if I will ever have a perfect marriage but ya, girls like us will never stop dreaming and being hopeful. I agree with Ruchi and Tanushree about the fact that there are not many guys out there who can woo us intelligently. I mean how many times have I seen an attractive guy and wished to talk to him and the moment I heard them talk I wished they had never opened their mouths. I do have a few guy friends with whom talking is a real pleasure but we are and probably will remain just good friends and no more. I dunno if I will ever find a “perfect” relationship/marriage but what I do know is that I have some great friends, friends with whom I can have great conversations, friends who never judge me(some of them do sometimes though). So may be I will never have a great marriage but I will have great sex (with my partner, afterall most guys are game for good sex) and I will have great and fulfilling conversations with my friends and other close people. Thus, I can still manage to have both and so a fulfilling life…